Help is Available in May

When I was growing up, mental health was not a topic on the table. People simply thought that when someone was acting weird or, quote-unquote, not normal, they were, point-blank, crazy. When someone needed help or showed signs of being a little off, I most often heard people say, “Go to church and ask the pastor for help.” Which is not all a bad idea, at least at the time, but pastors typically deal with the spiritual side of things. Today, we know pastors are not mental health counselors, and now we are recognizing that therapists are the healthcare professionals we should be seeking out when we are struggling with certain mental storms in our lives, but things are just not perfect yet. People are still nervous about sharing that they are seeing a therapist. I have been seeing a mental health counselor for almost 6 years, and it’s been a good journey. I feel that people still feel a little uneasy about sharing with others that they are seeing a mental health counselor. I don’t care what other people will think of me. Visiting a mental health counselor is all about my overall health, at least that’s how I see it. I hope that when I share with others, I take part in seeing a therapist, and that it may inspire others to do the same. Because I don’t care who you are, everyone is going through something that is just life, but to sit there and pretend like nothing is wrong, or to sweep everything under the rug, is where the danger lies. We are all human and need help from time to time to sort out life’s adversities. As the new saying goes, “life be lifing” or the old saying “it is what it is,” however, you would like to say life is life. We have to find a way to deal with the mental health issues at hand and not let things continue to build up to the point of explosion. Visiting a doctor for something physical, such as a stomach or back issue. Mental health counselors are like doctors for the thoughts and feelings that flow through our heads. Even though there is no brain scan to reveal your thoughts, counselors can help you one session at a time, but there are a few things I have learned along the way with my mental health journey that I would like to share with you in light of Mental Health Awareness Month. 

1. Realizing that you need help

People often shy away from their true feelings just because of the fear of being judged. You can’t let fear stop you from moving to the next level. We, as people, must keep moving forward; experiencing better mental health tomorrow starts with finding help today. Don’t pretend like there is no problem when there is. Problems don’t just solve themselves; we have to seek a solution, and that means recognizing that this mental issue needs to be resolved.

2. Seek out a mental health counselor

Finding a mental health counselor is simple. You can search online for counselors in your area or ask your primary care provider for recommendations. The most important thing is to make sure your counselor is licensed. In the state of Florida, you can verify a counselor’s license on the Florida Department of Health website at floridahealth.gov. Having a counselor who gives you the space to feel safe to share anything without judgment is paramount. 

3. Honesty is the best policy

On your first session and beyond, be honest about who you are. You don’t want to cheat yourself out of good self-care. Remember, sessions are all about you, and you can only fix what you are willing to uncover. You are not fooling anyone but yourself if you are not honest. It doesn’t matter how awful or how disgusting you may think a situation or thought is; this is the place to lay it all out. We all have Skeltons in the closet and dirty laundry somewhere. Counseling sessions are the place to air it out without feeling bad about it. 

4. It’s not about perfection

Every session is not going to be perfect, and there may be moments where you feel like a truck ran over you, and that’s ok. This just means there is some work to be done. Nothing good is built overnight, but one day you will feel better and look back and say, “I am so glad I am not at that place in my life and have moved on to something greater and better.” Mental Health is a journey; there is no finish line in the journey of life. We are all going to have some highs and lows, hopefully more highs than the lows, but this is why having a counselor is so important, for when life happens, we have someone by our side to help provide some unbiased guidance. 

5. Ask for what you need

Don’t be afraid to ask questions or make requests in therapy. I have asked my therapist for exercises or homework to help with challenges. Sometimes tough problems need extra attention. Don’t just wait—ask for help. 

6. Journaling

One of those exercises or activities may be journaling thoughts. In the last year, I have really enjoyed journaling, especially when my thoughts are at volume 100. It’s so noisy in my head that I can barely think, that’s when I turn to journaling. After journaling, things start to get a little quieter, and I think more smoothly through the day or week. Having a log of some of life’s good and bad events has been helpful. I like the ability to  go back and literally see what my journey looked like before. I can see entries of when I felt good about myself, and sometimes entries where that was a horrible day, but I got through it. That is what is most important: seeing where I have come from and where I am heading, and journaling has gifted me with that. 

7. Circle of Friends

Having people around that you can count on is imperative. Friendship has enriched my life in numerous ways. In friendship, there is loyalty, trust, connection, guidance, laughter, joy, and all of the above. When the world is turning with obstacles, and everything in between friends can make the world feel a little sweeter during rough moments. True friends don’t go missing when life gets hard; they stick around for the bumpy, turbulent ride. It’s important to have connections and friends who have your back. Friends are not a substitute for a mental health counselor because, no matter what, friends will always be somewhat biased toward you, but friends definitely make the world a better place.   

*The health content in this post is intended to inform, not prescribe, and is not meant to be a substitute for the advice and care of a qualified health care professional.